Tag Archives: recovery

Small

Girls night. The thing is, she DID look great. I said as much. Blame me for starting it all. Her number one tax break was still several months shy of his first birthday, but in she walked wearing this snug … Continue reading

Posted in Ana, anorexia, appearance, body image, eating disorders, Ed, life, me, mia, miscellaneous, musings, other, Personal, Personal, random, recovery, reflections, thoughts, weight, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

1095 days

Celebrations really are a mixed bag. While there’s no 12 step group to offer judgment free support, there are some whose compulsions to break out the flimsy crepe paper and cloying confections the moment they catch the faintest whisper of … Continue reading

Posted in Ana, anniversaries, anorexia, appearance, beauty, body dysmorphic disorder, body hatred, body image, bulimia, celebrations, eating disorders, Ed, faith, health, journal, life, me, mia, miscellaneous, musings, other, Personal, Personal, random, recovery, reflections, Remuda Ranch, social pressure, thoughts, treatment, weight, women, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Journal entry: May 23, 2008

This plane is freezing. Really freezing. When did planes get so cold?? It physically hurts me. I’ve been cold like this for months. Cold to the bone. I’m wearing Jeff’s coat over 2 sweatshirts over my T-shirt. I have a … Continue reading

Posted in Ana, anorexia, appearance, body dysmorphic disorder, body hatred, body image, bulimia, eating disorders, Ed, health, inpatient treatment, journal, life, me, mia, miscellaneous, musings, Personal, Personal, random, recovery, reflections, Remuda Ranch, thoughts, treatment, weight, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

It’s been 35 years since my last confession..

I cried in my therapist’s office yesterday. Such as I cry, that is. My eyes welling up and my voice getting froggy is akin to a more emotionally evolved person flinging themselves on the floor and raking their fingernails on … Continue reading

Posted in Ana, anorexia, appearance, beauty, body dysmorphic disorder, body hatred, body image, bulimia, Christian, Christianity, eating disorders, Ed, faith, God, health, insecurity, journal, life, me, mia, musings, outpatient treatment, Personal, Personal, random, recovery, reflections, social pressure, thoughts, treatment, weight, women, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A butterfly effect

In my home today, “fat”, is a prosecutable term. Now, I do understand that it’s a perfectly appropriate adjective to employ when one is describing a Red Robin onion-straw burger, or Hello Kitty’s inexplicably disproportionate head, yet I still catch … Continue reading

Posted in Ana, anorexia, beauty, binge eating disorder, body dysmorphic disorder, body hatred, body image, bulimia, Christian, Christianity, eating disorders, Ed, faith, friends, friendship, God, inpatient treatment, insecurity, life, me, mia, musings, other, outpatient treatment, overeating, people, Personal, Personal, random, recovery, reflections, relationships, social pressure, special people, thoughts, treatment, weight, women, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Remembering

So, okay. It’s eating disorder awareness week, right? True, some disorders/afflictions/ diseases are honored with a month-long dedication, but we’ll take what we can get. In some parts of the country, organizations are gearing up for marathon walks to increase … Continue reading

Posted in Ana, anorexia, beauty, body dysmorphic disorder, body hatred, body image, bulimia, Christian, Christianity, eating disorders, Ed, faith, God, inpatient treatment, insecurity, life, me, mia, musings, national eating disorder awareness week, nattional eating disorder awareness week, other, Personal, Personal, random, recovery, reflections, thoughts, treatment, weight, women, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

One foot in front of the other

My feet won’t move. This is problematic for several reasons. It’s nearly 7:30am. I have things to do. People are counting on me to do them. I’m working this morning. I have a long drive. I need to pack a … Continue reading

Posted in Ana, anorexia, beauty, body dysmorphic disorder, body hatred, body image, bulimia, Christian, Christianity, eating disorders, Ed, faith, God, life, me, mia, musings, Personal, Personal, recovery, reflections, thoughts, weight, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The fairest one of all

I      AM      LYING      TO      YOU                                                                                 … Continue reading

Posted in anorexia, body image, bulimia, eating disorders, inpatient treatment, life, me, musings, Personal, Personal, recovery, reflections, thoughts, treatment, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Enough

I didn’t receive many incoming phone calls during my months as a patient at Remuda Ranch treatment center for eating disorders. Calls could be taken after dinner before evening snack (but not during), and then in the very brief interim … Continue reading

Posted in child abuse, Christian, Christianity, eating disorders, faith, God, life, me, musings, Personal, Personal, recovery, reflections, thoughts, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Making the Cut

“Cutting is demonically inspired,” my pastor intones. Sincere. Heartfelt. Passionate. “ And how often TODAY do we hear of people ..(pause for dramatic effect) CUTTING themselves??” The congregation’s response is as you might expect. Gasps, tsk-tsk’ing, and plenty of heads … Continue reading

Gallery | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments